One of the most frustrating aspects for many Westerns who connect with Asians in Asia is the
enigmatic, all purpose smile.
The smile can mean
I am embarrassed
I am uncomfortable, very uncomfortable or desperately uncomfortable
I am happy and feel comfortable with you
I am so angry I would take great pleasure in turning and walking away
What the Asian doesn’t say
I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me
I have no intention of giving you the information you think you have a right to know
I might know the answer but I don’t want to lose face by making a mistake
I wish I were anyplace else right now
Did you learn your manners in a pig pen?
Tongue-in-cheek view of what goes unsaid by Asians in cross cultural
exchanges
Westerner
 Why exactly can’t you people learn to speak English
properly?
Asian to themselves:
Typical colonist attitude! Why can’t you speak my
language?
____
Westerner
I want ice in my soft drink! I can’t drink it warm
Asian to themselves
I understand, sir. Would you prefer to get cholera from
drinking frozen contaminated water? If so, I will be happy to run down the street and buy
some ice
____
Westerner
Why can’t you just give me a straight answer?
Asian to themselves
Why are you so aggressive and rude that you make
inappropriate demands?
____
Westerner
How can you tolerate living in such an oppressive
society?
Asian to themselves
Do you have suggestions for changing my citizenship?
Would you like to sponsor me to your country?
____
Westerner
The air conditioning in my room isn’t working. Fix it
immediately
Asian to themselves
Didn’t your mother teach you to say please and thank
you?
____
And finally
Westerner
Doesn’t it bother you to just stand there with a smile on
your face?
Asian to themselves
Not at all–what actually bothers me is to look at the scowl
on your face and be assaulted by your loud, distinctly unpleasant voice
Is there hope? Absolutely
As Americans, you will have to bite your tongue, often walking away from interactions
wondering what the heck happened and sometimes not get your needs met
immediately.
The rewards are great
- You’ve done your bit for imploding the “ugly American” stereotype
- You’ve honored people whose culture is thousands of years older than yours and who
have suffered unspeakable hardships in modern times
- You will find that Asians open up once they feel they can trust you. They will honor you
with insights about themselves and cultural perspectives you will never get from inside a
tour bus.
Copyright Explore Asia © 2006 All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact Explore
Asia email info@exploreasia.com
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